




You know that scene in "Caddyshack" (the funniest movie EVER made)
"And then, after they leave, we'll hire a disinfecting crew to scour the place
From left to right: "The Goldilocks Crew"
You are NOT gonna believe the fancy chairs in this place......
Check out the fancy colored shirts on this bunch!
"Suburban people"....pfffft.......so drab, huh?
But they still let us sit in the Fancy Chairs once every year.
"St. Peter........I'll have one BLT, a Diet Coke, and a fluffy cloud please....
I am oober picky about cooking my bacon.
I toast mine and then stand it up on a plate like this to let it cool.
Okay, THIS is where my mother will think I'm straying from my "roots",
People that put Miracle Whip on a BLT should be spanked,
I was unaware that opening a cap on a mayo jar had become so difficult?
ICEBERG Lettuce.
Freshest Tomatoes you can find:
then consider yourself truly blessed by the BLT Culinary Fairy.
Bacon on one side...............
Lettuce on the other..........
Tomatoes in the middle.
Here is one of my favorite "assemblers" assembling his masterpiece.
CAN I GET AN AMEN????
![]() |
| Make a Smilebox slideshow |



a surprise from my sweetie:-)
thanks for such an incredible day.............
I am so honored to be your mom!
































By: Ken L.
Saturday afternoon, about 1pm.
The golf tournament is on and its time for me to have lunch, kick back on the couch and dine while watching Tiger stomp the field.
As usual, I asked Kim to make me a sandwich for lunch. She brought me the sandwich, but then I needed a nice, cool beverage to wash it down with.
"Kim", I hollered from my reclined dining position on the coach, eyes still affixed to the TV, "will you bring me a drink please, too".
She opened the dishwasher to grab a clean glass and I then heard.....
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
...Ok, the gears start turning and burning in my head. What would possibly cause her to shriek like that.....
Did she cut herself? No, not a bloody scream.
Did the dishwasher fall out of the holder? No, the scream had too much emphasis. This was important!
Did the dogs eat something gross? No, not enough disgust in the scream.
"Oh", I thought, "The dogs ate my chips off the counter" A usual issue here at our house.
But then I heard it....
"Kenny....THERE'S A SNAKE IN THE DISHWASHER!!!!!"
I jumped from the couch, heaved the dishwasher open, and TADAAAH....
There was a snake in the dishwasher!
Ok...stay calm. Hmmm...Do I kill it, do I catch it....Oh, I got it.......lets get the camera and take pictures!!!!!!
So I got a few good pics. But then he started to slither away....now what.
If he gets away, where does he go? Will he be back? Are there more? Is that thing poisonous? Hmmm....
...and all the while I ponder he is disappearing from sight....THINK FAST!!!!!
I grabbed some tongs from the kitchen, but they were really short. Too short for me, in fact. I wasn't getting bit, that’s for sure.
Here is what the experts say about a pit viper bite, which is what a moccasin is (Cottonmouth)...
The cardinal signs and symptoms of pit viper envenomation include: burning pain (the commonest, earliest sign), puncture wound (50% of the time accompanied by a bloody ooze), swelling, skin discoloration, nausea and vomiting, minty, metallic, rubbery taste in the mouth, sweating, chills, numbness and tingling of the mouth, face, scalp, and wound site, ecchymosis and production of blebs and blisters, erythema and edema progressing from the wound site, weakness, vertigo, haematemesis epistaxis, muscle fasiculations, paralysis, shock, convulsions, loss of sphincter control, melena haematuria, and renal shutdown. Envenomation may include some or all of these symptoms, depending on the severity of envenomation.
yeah, not for me.....
Then Kim says, "If he disappears and you can't show me a dead snake, I am outta here!!!!!"
Well, gotta do what you gotta do.
I grabbed the tools from the garage and started to dismantle the dishwasher in record time, all the while thinking the vibrations from the drill was pissing that thing off and it was gonna jump out any minute.
I couldn't properly dismantle the dishwasher, so I did what any male would do in this situation...
use brute force, a hammer, and a crowbar!!!!!
I got the dishwasher lid off, which is where the snake had gone. I could see him in there, just chillin'.
I took the lid of the dishwasher outside and threw it off into the street.
There it was...a juvenile water moccasin!!!!
He was PISSED!!!!! He was striking every time I got near him. He was small, but I have heard that regardless of the size, they pack a pretty good wallop of poison.
So, as any typical man would do, I chopped his head off with a shovel.....
We then had to head to Best Buy for a new dishwasher. The old one was just that, old. It still worked well, but I can guarantee you it wasn't going to be put back together and still function properly.
So, by the time all this is said and done, that'll be almost $900, with installation.
That works out to about $85/inch of moccasin.
The million dollar question.....
Are there more?
This was a pretty small snake...a juvenile. Where are his brothers and sisters?
Hopefully, we won't ever find out....
Ken




















This picture made me laugh. 

2 pounds hamburger
"Fry you up" about 10 pieces of bacon. I'm extremely picky about frying bacon. My secret is "cookin it low and flippin it often".
Can you just SMELL this? Ahhhhhhh.....hello my friend.
Now here's the part where it gets kinda icky and you are probably going to say, "YUCK...I'm not making this".
Add your chopped onion to the grease and let them hang out and get to know each other.
Until they look brown and yummy like this.
Then add the hamburger meat to all that
While you are cooking the
And don't forget to "accidentally drop" some of that bacon on the floor.
After you have the
the Cream of Mushroom soup............
and the 2 TABLESPOONS of Paprika.
Are you still trusting me?
Boil the Egg Noodles (or "new-nules" as my sistah used to say) according to package directions.
Now, in order to do this the way my mom used to do, you MUST serve this with:



























Dear Mr. President,









































![]() |
| Make a Smilebox slideshow |





