Those Annoying Little Surveys

Occasionally, I receive one of these cutesy little "Friends Survey" things as a forward from someone. Last year I received this one and saved it for some reason....(From reading some of my answers that I gave that day, I think I must have been obsessing about one particular physical attribute that I have "gained" over the years)....anyway....I digress.....

At first, my gut instinct is to push DELETE because, to be perfectly honest, I really don't care what anyone's favorite color is or how many wonderful places they have traveled to. (Yes, I know about the ending the sentence in a preposition, but see blog #1)

But after that initial impulse to flush the whole survey, the narcisistic part (did I spell that right?)of my brain kicks in and no matter how much I tell myself how stupid this is, I can't help myself. I know that I don't care about anyone's favorite whatever, but maybe, just maybe, someone out there wants to know what MY favorite such-in-so is!

No, that's not true---I DO care about someone's favorite whatnot if they make an effort to put a little "spunk" into the survey. Make it saucy. Make it unique. Make it say more about you than just answering the questions.

So I challenge you, my vast audience, to take an ordinary survey and spice it up a bit. Some questions seem a little impossible to make interesting but just pepper in a few here and there. Make things up if you have to because remember.......in the words of George Costanza from Seinfeld, "It's not a lie if YOU believe it".

First name? Andrea

Do you wish on stars? to lose 50 pounds, I'd wish on the mailman if it would work

When did you last cry? When I got on the scale

What is your favorite lunch meat? Salami

What is your birthday?

If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? If I were another person, then there would be no me, therefore, no friendship......sorry, had a Socrates moment there---

Do you have a journal? No- but I have a cat..

What are your nicknames? in high school my nickname was BoomBoom...this was, of course, before my reduction surgery!!!!!

Would you bungee jump? I'm quite sure there is a weight limit, and I'm also quite sure I'm above it......hahahaha

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No---stomach gets in the way

Do you think that you are strong? Physically, no....mentally, yes.....Thank you, Mr. Paxil

What is your favorite ice cream flavor? frozen

What is your least favorite thing about yourself? my weight---when I get on the scale it says, "one person at a time, please"

Who do you miss most? Princess Diana---still haven't quite gotten over that one.

What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? fat colored pants and barefoot

What are you listening to right now? Stevie Nicks, of course--and R laughing over my shoulder

Last thing you ate? contents of my pantry

If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Black---it's the most slenderizing one in the box---all the other colors are really jealous of it--they talk smack about her behind her back

The first thing you notice about the opposite ? humor

Favorite Drink? Diet Vanilla Coke---Route 44 with extra Sonic ice--yumm!!!!! When I get rich the FIRST thing I am buying is a Sonic ice machine for the garage.

Favorite Sport? Olympic Curling/Kurling

Hair Color? whatever chemical combination covers the gray----

=Eye Color? Blue

Do you wear contacts? No--but I'm blind in one eye---there's some trivia for yall!

Favorite Food? anything with carbs in it

Last Movie You Watched? Napoleon Dynomite----GOSH! IT'S FLIPPIN SWEET!

Favorite Day Of The Year? Fourth of July---reason is: it is typically a "friend" holiday---not a "family" holiday----also---there's no pressure to decorate anything in your house for it---

Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Anything as long as I can have the buttery popcorn that goes with the movie

Hugs OR Kisses? neither---I am very uncomfortable hugging anyone.....I'm just not a hugger. Kisses only from animals, kids and husbands--

What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Brownie Skillet from Applebees----

What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Boo Hoo---I watched the series finale of one of my favoite shows, Six Feet Under on HBO---I cried most of the night.

Favorite Smells? Clean little boys right after their bath (I miss my boys being little)

Favorite Sounds? Cats purring or a country-western station being turned OFF

Rolling Stones or Beatles? Neither---Stevie Nicks or Fleetwood Mac all the way.

What's the furthest you've been from home? Los Angeles (Thanks Goldilocks!)

Do you have a special talent? Procrastination and Denial